I should have broken up with you
the moment you asked for me to kiss your cheek
and turned your head last minute
turning what was my first kiss into a prank for you, something to laugh about.

I should have broken up with you
when you wrapped your arms around my waist
and pulled me closer when I tried to pull away
because the cashier was flirting with me.

I should have broken up with you
when I wanted to leave the carnival
and you said, "Babe, we just got here"
as if time is more important than my discomfort.

I should have broken up with you
when you asked me to hang out with you the day of my surgery
and got upset when I said "No, I need rest"
as if your need for attention is stronger than my painkillers

I should have broken up with you
the night I realized that you liked the idea of having a girlfriend
more than who your girlfriend was
because I am not just an idea, and that is inconvenient for you.

I should not have missed you
when you drove away from my house
after an hour of making me for guilty for telling you
"I don't think this is going to work"

I should not have called you later that week
asking how you were, and giving more excuses
lying through my teeth about how it wasn't you, it was me
me not being ready
me needing time on my own
me not being for you
me being the problem

With the words "Babe, we just got here"
playing in my mind the whole time.