I Am No One Special
I am no one special
You are no one special
Most people can’t handle that
Can you?
Kissed a guy in his 20s
She was 17
Cut herself before winter break
She was 17
Thought about cheating on her boyfriend
She was 17
If I were to go I would overdose
No pain, no way of knowing
Who would miss me?
Have I been bad?
Do I deserve to die?
She wasn’t crying but she was hurting
The blade ran against her skin
She saw the blood once she was done
She was ashamed of herself
So she hid
She didn’t tell the people she should have
She waited for the scar to go away
But there was still a mark
She’s afraid
Of what will happen if they find out
Or if they don’t
She saves the picture of it in her phone
Keeping it locked away
She thinks it’s beautiful
What’s wrong with her?
She is in high school
She is drawn to people with issues
Maybe because she has her own
She can forget them around other people
She feels like exploding
So many secrets kept inside
But what will happen if she tells?
Will she be in trouble?
Will people be ashamed of her?
She wants to be perfect
She sucks at being perfect
She sees her mistakes as flaws
She sees her flaws as disappointments
She wants to be strong
But how can she be strong when she feels the whole world is against her
She can’t wait for college
So she can leave it all behind
She’s never coming back
I had a regular day today
Although I felt like it was all in haze
I woke up and the next thing I knew I was back home again
The day had already ended
The blade was a razor
The scar was 2 weeks
The fright was real
The mark has stayed
Sad music helps me
I want to cry
I need to cry
I miss crying
Why do I do this to myself?
Hiding things in isn’t good for me
I hate doing it
I’m not myself
I haven’t been myself in months
I only act like myself
I miss myself
I need myself
The question lingers in the air
What if?
What if they find out?
What if they get mad?
What if they are ashamed?
What if I get in trouble?
I am so fucking scared of telling them
I feel small, tiny
Forgive me for I have sinned
I’m sorry
I feel terrible
I know I should have stopped it before it happened
I hate that I did this
She cares about other people's’ feelings more than her own
She hates when people are mad at her
She is always nice
She always gets stepped on
She wants to be strong
She’s slowly getting better
She is a hopeless romantic
She is a flirt
She is a liar
She is a disappointment
Sing me a song of sorrows
From the depths of hell and back
There will be a better tomorrow
If not then I will crack
I’m falling apart inside
I will surely drown
Unless you come and save me
And bring me to the ground
Please
save
me….