I Am Karina

Fury circles me as an aura of red and orange

The once happy yellow I had has turned against me and let my inner demons show

Everything turns black

A red and orange glow is my lantern in the darkness

Nothing can stop what is about to happen

My demons blow out the lantern

I fight to find light

No happy yellow

No furious red and orange

Darkness has become me

 

The red and orange light appears in my mind

Yet I still cannot see in front of me

The red and orange light appears again

It tells me I cannot hide

It tells me I have no choice but to obey the anger hidden deep inside

I struggle to hold the flames back

Every second I try to keep the flames at bay

They spit and sizzle at me saying I cannot contain them

 

The beautiful shade of chocolate brown my eyes once were has turned a deep dark red

The demons take shape

Racing around me 

Provoking me

My deep dark red eyes start to glow 

I find myself unable to stop

The demons have become me

 

I slash at the dark

Tears of pain roll down my soot covered face as a fire erupts in front of me

I walk towards it

The flames engulf me as I become part of the fire

I hear screaming as the demons from hell are unleashed

My demons

 

I scream along with them

The demons are just garbled images of me

Angry and hurt

Each picture shows the pain and fury I hold back every day

Provoked once again I fight 

I scream and cry as I claw at the dark

Not a care in the world could stop me now

I am unleashed 

I am my inner demons

 

They claw at me

Telling me to come and play some more

I cannot be held back

I find myself joining those demons again

Getting closer to the fire again with each step

The fire whispers my name 

Beckoning me to be engulfed by the flames again

It is a hellish nightmare once I walk into the flames

Screams of terror and pain swirl around me

 

The light cuts on

My alarm goes off

My yellow aura glows happy as ever in the early morning light

My nightmares are getting worse I think to myself

My nightmares become a reality when I am angry

I become something terrible

It is when I am provoked

It is when I am in a bad place

My demons call to me telling me to let go

Unleash the fury 

 

I fall back asleep and meet the demons who call to me

I look the garbled image of me in her deep dark red eyes

She looks back at me

I look me in the eyes again 

I tell the other version of me to leave me alone

I find power in telling her to leave me alone

I need this power in order to keep my demons at bay

Hell will freeze over

The concept of peace will have meaning again

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741