"Straghten your spine." "Point your toes." "Longer legs." "Stronger back." "Longer waist."
How is it, I can spend 8 hours a day listening to the constant ridicule of what a ballerina is supposed to look like? How is it, that I can spend 8 hours a day standing in the middle of a room made of mirrors, nearly naked in pink tights and a black leotard? How is it, that in those 8 hours every day, I feel confident in who I am, what I do, and where I want to go? I am alive. I can stand 10 feet tall on my toes and feel invincible and beautiful and wanted by the audience of thousands that come see the magic made on stage.
But why is it, that the single mirror at home mocks me and I am dead inside and unworthy of myself? Everyone tries to down-grade your self-worth, which is why we are told that we need to have tough skin in this society. Voices bang around in my head, knocking me down.
"You're fat." "Ugly. Stupid." "Pathetic. A mistake."
"No. I'm beautiful and unique." I am realeased from perfection and maybe it took me slipping from it's warm embrace and shattering to the floor in a million pieces for me to comprehend that, my insecurities are 100% flawless. My insecurities are what make me human. And I love being human.
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