You say I'm beautiful,

and you say I'm special.

But I wonder, "Oh, would they say this without the filters?"

I am so much more than this shell.

I am long walks on a brisk evening,

I am pictures of the sunsetting,

I am staying up past midnight to binge watch my favorite shows,

I am laughing at my own jokes,

I am laughing to tears at the smallest things and not being able to finish a story,

I am un-brushed hair and chipped nail polish,

I am anxious thoughts and panic attacks at two in the morning,

I am questioning my entire future and everything I stand for at three,

I am crying in bed at four and praying the monsters in my head away,

I am awake by eight and always late to school,

I am quiet glances and insecure picks at my outfit that day,

I am listening more than I am talking,

I am daydreaming and lost,

I am indecisive,

I am falling asleep by fifth period,

I am laughing with my friends and wondering how I've come to know such wonderful people,

I am singing my heart out on the drive home,

I am dancing around my room,

I am on my knees worshipping God,

 

I am alive.

 

M.V.