I am the girl in the back of the room
the one that her own class doesn't know the name of.
I am the girl who's too afraid to speak
but is constantly writing in her notebook.
I am the girl the rest of the school ignores
but oh well, that's their loss.
I am the girl you'd never notice unless you were looking.
I am a master of disguise,
no one knows I'm mentally ill
I am a honors student
who is in special education.
I am a published author
that no one would read.
I am a girl and a boy
but you'll only see the girl.
But most of all,
I am sick.
I am sick of the lesser being treated as the lesser.
I am sick of the stigma around my diseases.
I am sick of little girls sticking their fingers down their throats
hoping to look like the models on the page.
I am sick of being told I'm looking for attention.
Maybe I am.
But it's not attention for me.
It's attention for the ones you're ignoring into nonexistence.
I am sick of my body being treated like someone else's property.
I am tired of boys thinking it's okay to treat me like meat.
I am sick of hearing "they were a good kid" from the world
after an innocent soul claims their own life to escape
this world that was beating down on them.
I am tired of having to explain myself.
I am sick of having to hide who I am.
I am a fighter
a panromantic asexual
And I am sick of this world.
There needs to be a change.
The boy who cuts his wrists needs this change.
The teen mom who is raising a rape baby needs this change.
The boy starving himself needs this change.
The girl burning her finger tips needs this change.
The abuse survivors need this change.
The suicide survivors need this change.
You need this change.
We need this change.
It should not take death
to realize all lives matter.
It should not take a person a trip to the ER and then the hospital
to realize our standards are unrealistically high.
It should not take a rape or sexual assault
to realize we are not educating our youth.
It should not take an arm full of scars
to realize mental health matters
It should not take this poem
to realize we have an issue.
I am sick of this world
I am a human.