I Am

I am in a constant state of fear.

I’m afraid of interviews,

And I’m afraid of bugs.

I’m afraid of failure,

And I’m afraid of the dark.

I’m afraid of conversations,

And I’m afraid of being alone.

 

I am in a constant state of fear.

I stumble through my words,

And my mind blanks when talking.

My mouth gets dry,

And my hands start to shake.

I play situations in my head

Over and over,

But I’m still terrified.

 

I am in a constant state of fear.

I can’t make a phone call

Without preparing for fifteen minutes before.

I can’t gather the courage

To talk to a college friend

Because I once thought

That I had loved him.

 

I am in a constant state of fear

Because boys like to take advantage

Of what isn’t theirs.

Not happening once,

But twice over the course

Of one summer,

I had learned

Why girls have to be careful

Of who they let in.

It’s not strangers who disrespect your body,

But the ones who you thought you trusted.

 

I am in a constant state of fear,

But I am more

Than my experiences.

I have been pushed down

Put down,

And looked down on,

But I refuse to believe

What I’m told.

 

 

I am in a constant state of fear,

But it’s not who I am.

I am a college student.

I am a working woman.

I am a girlfriend.

I am a daughter.

I am a sister.

I am more.

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