I Am

I am the girl in sixth grade who got caught with an older guy.i am the girl you bullied.i am the girl who’s mistakes defined her for yearsi am the girl you called a whore but never knew the truthi am 12 and scared and dreading the bus ride to school because the echos of the word “slut” cut me every time i hear the high school girls say it because i know theyre talking about me.i am dreading school daily because you all hate mei am laying in bed in the morning questioning why i even woke upi am wanting to sleep foreveri am never wanting to talk or go out because the bullying is too much to bearand I AM ONLY 12   i am 12 and thinking of suicidei am 12 and none of you know thisi am growing up too fasti am experiencing pain too earlyi am giving up too sooni am seeing a counselor because i cut my wristsbecause i can’t find it in me to let my anger out on you so i take it out on myselfi am getting questioned by the counselor if i want to kill myself that dayi am denyingbut i am thinking about it i am losing hope in lifei am walking in shamei am diagnosed with bipolari am diagnosed with depressioni am hiding it from you i am now 14i am on my way to church campi am about to experience a life changei am about to experience hope for the first timelove for the first timeacceptance for the first time i am worshipping with my church and after…i am prayingits thursdayits emotionalits a new feelingits refreshingits greatits life-alteringits Godi am saved i am 15i am newi am no one like i used to bei am slowing forgetting that girl just like you are forgettingnothing is the samei am niceyou are nicewe laugh i am laughingwith the ones who used to bully mei am conversatingwith the ones who almost led me to suicidei am sitting with the ones who depreciated me but i am enjoying iti am acceptedi am nothing like who i used to bei am complimenting others so they can have those words of encouragement that i never goti am working daily to make sure others love themselves i am making sure they dont get stuck where i wasi am loving you because i can love myselfi am voted “most outgoing” in class favorites i am 16 and finding myself i am planning on going to a christian collegei am majoring in Biblei am going to be a missionaryto spread this hope internationallyi am making sure everyone has this chance at hope just like i hadi am a servanti am able to forget “that girl” completely and thankfully so have youi am brand newi am happyi am lovingi am the sun who shines for no other reason than to brighten your dayi am a child of God nowi am Alli i am saved

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