I stand here before you with a smile on my face
trying to determine my place in this race for success.
Internally I am bleeding, bleeding out the lies and hate I force upon myself daily.
I wake up each morning ready for a new day of pain.
I grab my mask and place it securely upon my face to hide the disgrace I feel for myself.
Disgrace that runs deep in my marrow drowning me in sorrow, beating me till I'm numb.
I want this end but instead it continues on and on.
Why am I not able to find the beauty everyone sees in me?
Why can't I see myself as the strong young girl I describe in my poetry.
I want confidence to flow out of me; but instead, it's only misery.
The weight of my feelings sitting atop my shoulders preparing to run free, crushing me.
Forcing me to be someone I'm not, I want it to stop.
I stop it.
I stand here before you with a smile on face
trying to determine my place in this race to find ME.
So I look in the mirror and I finally see
I am strong. I am beautiful.
Standing before you ending my pain to gain that sense of worth I've lacked.
I take off the mask and reveal my imperfections.
The ones that make me beautiful.
The ones that make me who I am.
And I am...