Hushed Little Baby

Tue, 11/03/2015 - 21:04 -- Life24


United States
29° 30' 21.9276" N, 98° 34' 39.3456" W

I remember the softness of her voice
The way her arms hugged me tightly giving me warmth
The small smile she gave me as she said the beginning words of the song
I could've have told you that at that time I was the happiest
It wasn't till I heard those few words of the lullaby
The words that I would follow
The words that I obeyed
The words that made me a “dog”
The words I'm still learning how to break free from
…”hush little baby don't say a word…”
I know I was a baby back then
Had no idea what she meant
But now looking back at it
I don't want to be that hushed little baby no more
I want to be heard

Growing up I was clueless
I've seen so many unexplainable things
I've been told,” don't do that”
I've been told “do this”
But I don't remember myself saying
“I want to do this”
Or “no” to say at least
I've been taught the value of a good life
That when I grow up I need to marry a good man
That when I grow up I need to have a successful job
That when I grow up I need to put all my thoughts to a side and only think about my future
I mean don't get me wrong
If it wasn't for this I wouldn't have learned so much
I wouldn't have learned how to strive to do my best
I wouldn't have experienced the long tireless nights of just studying for hours
I wouldn't have learned what hard work really is
But I didn't want to learn or experience these things because I was told to
I don't want to be told to do these things
I want to be able to do things because I wanted to do them
Not because my parents told me I had to
Not because I wanted to keep up my reputation
But because me, Yaritza , wanted to do it

I do however have to admit that I'm a shy person
I'm the background character of a princess movie
While others were being Cinderella I was too busy being the invitation sender
If you read that line and wondered who the invitation sender was and if there was an invitation sender in that movie
then my point is proven
I was that type of character
But you know
I'm not going to be that invitation sender no more
I'm going to promote myself
No longer will I be that invitation sender but I'll be something greater
And I know that because I'm brave
The door that I kept shut with 7 locks and a jumble of chains will open
I will grab the key from my heart and unlock all the keys and break all those chains
At last taking a deep breathe and breathing in the smell of freedom
And yeah that may take a while
Knowing how shy I am now
But thinking ahead of how free I will be when I unlock that last key
I know it's worth it

So to sum it all up I'm a hushed little baby
Well actually
I was that hushed little baby
I'm now a teen that's learning how to say it's first words
I know sounds abnormal
But it's true
I'm learning how to finally say what I want to say
Not saying words that others are making me say
And I'm positive that I will soon or later turn into an adult
An adult that will learn how to say her own thoughts without a care
And will life a life that she is happy with
So I may be a teenager learning how to say my first words now
But sooner or later you will see me saying speeches
Speeches that hold my true feelings and thoughts in
This is me.


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