Like a Hummingbird's Heartbeat

Location

78613
United States
30° 30' 42.9912" N, 97° 49' 3.936" W

Stop.

Stop staring at my chiseled, perfect body

Like my blank, senseless face

Does not exist.

 

Look,

Deep within my black eyes,

There is life

And death 

Like ying and yang.

 

Look at me

Closely.

I may seem like a crack- head,

Shaking my head side to side

Vigorously.

But,

I am just insecure.

 

Trauma brought me here;

Deep down,

Within a place 

I was scared to rise.

 

But,

to lift this trauma,

I must rise.

Even if it is painful, 

I must rise.

Irony.

 

I sense stares of a million eyes,

Filled with disgust and

Weighing me down

Like the head of medusa

Trying to turn me into a stone

Statue.

But,

I must keep moving forward

And turn my eyes to the light

Ahead of me.

 

Once, felt alive.

Twice, felt dead.

This is a process.

 

Don't look back.

Don't turn around.

Move on.

 

My

Heart beats

Like a hummingbird.

But,

Will this beat continue 

Because I'm not rising

Out of fear.

 

Or

 

Because of relief?

While I run and run

To heal?

 

Who knows?

 

But,

I know my worth.

 

Because of my worth,

I move on

Instead of facing death.

 

Because I face reality,

I am strong;

Strong enough to live

For a purpose:

Love.

 

Love is the answer.

Some say, what is love?

Some say, is love alive?

 

Is love the heartbeat

For the person down the street?

In the corner of my eye?

On the other side of the world?

Or in my dreams?

 

For me,

 

Love is

Freedom

from this cruel world.

 

 

Truly yours,

 

From the perspective

Of the insecure

That continues to heal 

From this cruel world.

 

P.S:

Self-pity is contagious,

Be careful.

 

Knowing your worth 

is an understatement,

Work on it. 

 

Mental illness is a stigma,

Fight through it

And show the world

That you are more

Than your illness.

You are you.

And that’s beautiful.

 

Time has a process.

Your time will come

To shine

Like a star

In the pitch-black night sky.

 

Do not give up.

 

Never.

This poem is about: 
Me

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