How Endearing Becomes Toxicity
The first step to loving
is acceptance.
Acceptance of their actions now,
and the acceptance of their actions later.
Acceptance of one’s past,
acceptance of one’s present,
and the acceptance of one’s future;
whether that be with or without you.
But unfortunately,
many don’t know how important acceptance is.
So many people today
come from broken families,
with broken hearts,
and broken mindsets.
These people have seen love as a weapon,
not as a tool.
And those three words that hold so much
have lost their meaning,
what once was such a powerful way
of expressing your feelings
is now just a phrase to throw around.
People who don’t understand love
just want to hear those three words.
But when a fourth is tagged on,
they only hear the three words and
ignore the reason.
There’s always a reason,
since love can never be just
because they love you.
These people stand on a battlefield,
with words becoming bullets
and insults becoming armadas
against their wounded hearts and
damaged minds.
Their lover’s “sacrifices”,
as they call them,
are thrown like grenades to wreak havoc.
But they love them,
so it’s all forgiven, right?
These people stand in the wake of destruction,
their lover’s bad habits and even worse words
surrounding them like a fence.
They’re boxed into
love that isn’t love,
relationships that are prisons,
people that are deadly.
And they have no idea how to escape.
Because I Love You is so toxic,
it’s ruined how endearing it’s meant to be.
Because THEY love you,
they’ll restrict you.
Because they LOVE you,
they’ll encage you.
Because they love YOU,
they’ll make sure you never leave.
Because they want what they believe is best.
And sometimes?
The best is the worst.
This isn’t love.
This is a prison without physical bars.
This is a battlefield turned against you.
This is fire you cannot escape from.
This is a graveyard of your emotions.
Love has been changed.
Those three words are not special anymore,
after these people went through
Hell and back.
All because somebody decided that the phrase
Because I Love You
is meant to control,
not to convince.
Because I Love You is not healthy.
You shouldn’t need to convince yourself
that their inexcusable actions are suddenly
excusable.
A healthy relationship requires trust.
You need to be able to be alone with your lover,
and to not fear if they’d yell
or had anything to drink.
You need to be able to be comfortable
with them,
to not fear an unexpected outburst
for a problem you did not cause.
Forgiveness is not:
“Because I love you, I did this for you.”
Forgiveness is not a hug or a kiss or more.
Forgiveness is an apology,
and not doing it again.
A healthy relationship requires communication.
You shouldn’t need to be on your lover’s clock
for your own schedule.
You shouldn’t need to assume the unspoken,
or worry about the worrying details.
You shouldn’t need to chase after them for
the answers to questions they refuse to answer.
A healthy relationship requires love.
You shouldn’t need to look for attention.
You should get their affection,
their happiness,
without asking if you messed up.
You need love for a relationship to survive.
And if they will not give you love?
That’s not a healthy relationship.
You shouldn’t need “Because I love you”
to justify that there is any love at all.
Because I Love You is poison to
love’s name.
Because I Love You is deadly to
an innocent heart.
Because I Love you is what destroys people.
But those same people keep using
the phrase as a way of saying
that disgusting behavior is suddenly ok.
Healthy relationships are natural.
They aren’t forced through threats and actions.
They come from love and acceptance.
They come from the good memories,
that don’t get overshadowed by the bad.
Because I Love You is toxic.
And is not love.