The inclination to stay where I am but the vigor to put me to motion
I find myself in a distressing, discomforting distortion.
My confidence suddenly crashing down on me
increasing my insecurity.
Why do i feel so trapped as if i can't handle the impact?
I just want to subtract back to when i didn’t want to snap this stupid society in half.
The mirrors and people around tell me I need to be pretty, skinny,
not realizing that i'm a strong independant contradiction,
only predictable when it comes to my unpredictability.
In this body i once thought was great
I feel lost and like I've never even grown
now all i am thinking about is a plan to escape
although I can’t seem to take life on my own.
But I realize that every time I leave this state,
strangers who measure beauty through smiles await
to be kind and conversate.
Okay I know the correct term is converse
but trust me PRETTY HURTS and I've said things to myself that are much worse.
I’m worthless and ugly, no one will ever love me because i lack pearl teeth, big breasts, a tiny tummy and a pageant personality.
Slowly shrinking my reputation to please a male’s meaningless ejaculation
what’s my inspiration?
how about a generation that is obsessed with self mutilation.
You see I used to be insecure about everything,
Until those thoughts finally got the courage to flee.
I realized that my imagination and creation
is not necessarily something one can see
but it makes me, me.
You see, confidence is something you can chose
it’s not something old age, scars, or no makeup can make you lose.
I know the popular opinion of beauty is in my head for now, no signs of ever leaving,
But hopeful and comforting thoughts control my mind
and make me keep believing that
my intelligence and voice are things I wake up with every day.
I deserve respect, because I AM BEAUTIFUL
no need to hear what other people may say.