this house i grew up in.
Location
the house i grew up in?
wasn't really a lot of fun
cause my moms was never in agreeance
and my dad wanted a son
see, girls are kinda complicated
heat packs and tramp tatts
no call backs but money stacks
drawbacks? let's backtrack,
cause he was never there for any of that and
moms was never home, too caught up in status
she wanted a palace, wanted to be an actress.
never looked at us like we was anything more than fragments
but was put into an early casket, uh.
dad held resignation and she held condemnation
and i was just caught up in the rotation see
the house i grew up in?
full of silence
the only sound of a heart beating through violence
love is timeless?
only if you're monogamous
something my moms seemed to have a missed and
kissed a least half a wound
to exist.
emotions were nonexistent
i was pain resistant
cause i was a daughter
and while my dad wanted a son
my moms wanted none so
they fought harder and yelled louder and my dad
stayed no longer
slammed the door to being a father
and she cried.
we died.
our little family of three
no longer benign
now cancerous
wrecking all the things we wished
we could have kept.
inept at success
i digress
i guess
we were all just a little too young to have any sort of fun
sorry i'm not a son
but
the house i grew up in?
i don't like talkin’ about it.
cause the inside was never really very crowded
and while dad ran away and mom decided to quit
i never could take off our loosely knit
family.