Hope Through Open Eyes

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 23:47 -- alyh019

I sit here wondering

As the razor goes across my skin

No hope for me now

This dark place, there is no escape

Asking “why?” but there is no answer

The pills on the floor seemed to be the only way

Tears running down my face as I watch the blood fall

“Help me” but there is no answer

I paint a picture on my skin

This picture breaks down part of my soul

It’s all done for me

No one can catch me now, I’m at the edge

All this pain, what did I do to deserve this?

This world is just a cruel place with no hope

No friends, the razor became my only pleasure

Screaming but no one can hear me now

I look up at the ceiling once more

Wondering if the pills will help with this darkness

Once more the razor goes across my skin

All this crying my eyes become swollen

I can hardly see through all this

I close them hoping to gain the strength to end it

As my eyes close I see a light

I have never seen this before, where did it come from?

Reaching for it, I gain motivation

I need to catch it, what does it mean?

I open my eyes again only to see the Sun

This darkness disappeared

My mother knocks on my door to wake me up

My best friend calls me to make sure I was fine

My father messages me “good morning”

I had hope, my eyes finally completely opened

There were people around me that cared

They knew I existed; they remembered me

I spoke to the suicide hotline for advice

Something I will never forget

Is how there are people out there in the world that care

I found hope in everything around me

Clean for about six months, I can now smile   

I show everyone that I care about them

I will never let anyone go through what I did

There is help in many forms

Just look around you

This poem is about: 
Me

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