Honestly

Please excuse me for a moment,
because I have to say something.
I'm about full to burst,
but I don't want to say it.
I know I have to, though.
We have a year, almost exactly,
that's all and you'll be here
and I'll be long gone.
We'll pretend nothing's changed
but eventually lies will twist our tongues
to that terrible point
where we won't be able to speak anymore.
And then you'll be gone
and I won't know where
I don't know where I'll be then, either.
We have a 52 weeks, that'll all.
So this is me, being honest,
because I'm not spending 365 days
in denial, in cowardice, in betrayal.
I love you, that's the truth.
You needed to know that
I feel most like myself in your arms.
In your arms, I feel protection.
For the next year, please just hold me
because after that, I can only protect myself.
Let me lie in your bed tonight
let me wake up next to you in the morning
let me wake to your adorable just-woken-up smile
and that goofy, relaxed grin that comes with it.
For the next year, let me lie in your bed
because, being honest, I never want to leave.

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