The rules are that when you are asked you lie

How many times each day do we do it? 

Once when the barista asks if you mind the music

Again when the old woman down the street asks how you're doing

When the teacher wants to know if you liked the book

And what do you think of my new necklace? 

 

The answers come automatically to our tongues, 

Sugary when you say them with a smile

But they leave a bitter taste in your mouth as the smile turns sadly sour

And you know that for a split second you thought about it

You could have told the truth

 

I'm not fine

I'm falling apart at the seams

Everyone wants something and they demand it now

I don't know how to say I'm busy

But I really, really am

I lock myself in my room when I can't deal with the people

And they stand at the door waiting for me to come out

I can't count how many times I've cried myself to sleep this month alone

The skin around my eyes stings with salt that I try to tell myself came from the makeup I used to cover the dark circles

 

I really don't care about your diet

I stopped the third time you said that we can't go to my favorite restaurant together 

I'm not interested at all in joining you in your misery 

I'm perfectly happy with myself as long as I get to eat pizza

And I'm extremely irritated by how you keep badgering me to drop twenty pounds that don't affect your life in any way

Stuff your face with that salad and leave me alone

 

Your jokes aren't funny at all

I'm laughing at that hideous hair style 

And if I hear another crack at the song I like I will hit you

Can't I enjoy anything without you ripping it apart?

My life is not comedic material for you

And you wonder why I started to avoid you

 

How many times have people asked me why I'm angry 

And I almost told them

I almost spoke aloud the words that bit at the back of my throat like hell hounds

And clawed at my skull desperate to be heard

Everything in the world that's messed up and ignored 

And I seem to be the only one who cares but I don't know what to do to fix any of it

And I almost told them

Before I realized that they were on the side of my antagonists 

And would twist my words any way they pleased like they alway have

And laugh it off while the fire under my skin boiled my insides and burnt away the last of my limited trust

Can you see why I don't make any new friends? 

 

But of course I can't say this

Because the rule is to lie

So I smile

I say I'm fine

Today's been great, how are you?

Tell me again what a loving and kind world we live in

I totally believe you and I honestly care