the air redolent of childhood

nostalgia hits like a freight train,

my chest feels like it's being pulled

tighter

tighter

tighter.

memories of that time flood back,

a broken dam of thought, an unstoppable force.

i hurt.

because nothing is that easy anymore.

nothing may ever be that simple again.

i am fickle with where i wish to be,

in the past or the present,

for the past is easy

but the present is hopeful,

hopefully.

remembering hurts, yet it makes me happy,

my paradoxical heart unable to choose. 

the tightness feels alright sometimes.

but others

i wish it were so tight 

that it burst.