Will this ever be my home?

I wish I could stop the isolation and the constant feeling of being alone.

I can’t snap out of this zone and the feeling of my heart turning cold and hard like a brick stone.

I wish I could have meaning conversations with my brother on the phone. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

I wish he wouldn’t rush and just talk to somebody, but he would probably just avoid it, walking around with bitterness that slowly turning into poison.

I love him though and just wish his natural feelings would show; overall leading him to grow.

I want my dad to know I forgive him honestly ; I know this is heavy,  but “honesty is the best policy”.

I wish we could just laugh at the old times we had without feeling obligated. I wanna tell him, I finally made it, but don’t wanna fake it because

 I’ve been feeling stuck lately and sometimes I wish God would just take me to my original home, but I guess the time isn’t now.

I wish I could just be found and block out all of the distractions of sound

and just float naturally, praying I would come back to me.

11-06-17