There comes a moment in a relationship when you realize you were never and will never be good enough for him.
Regardless of how loving, supportive and selfless you are in this relationship, you simply cannot knock down the walls he has towering around him.
The homemade birthday cakes and the late night compliments will never be a match for the barricades he has to separate you.
You should have known better and known that you cannot fix him.
You believed that you were different and you would be the one to fix this broken man.
You failed.
He is still broken but it was not for a lack of trying.
When you pour everything you have into one person, you end up broken yourself.
Time wasted and no results, how sad of an existence.
You constantly outline his flaws and weaknesses but you cannot help but remember your own.
Maybe your hair is too yellow, your skin too pale, your capacity to love too suffocating.

You live a dichotomy of personality constantly manipulating yourself to gain his acceptance.
You were supposed to praise God in the pew on Sunday morning but praise his insecure body on Saturday night.
You strived to be both but fell short.
He must have known you were not the fierce goddess you portrayed yourself in order to boost his confidence.
He must have seen you for who you really were, a naïve woman trying to keep a broken man interested.
Keep the fish on the line.
It was all a lie but you convinced yourself it was necessary to keep him around long enough to fix him.
You were always trying to fix him.

You always knew there was a her.
A second woman who also called him hers.
You told yourself lie after lie to rationalize her existence because you wanted to fix him.
Always trying to fix him.
He kept you at arms length while denying that she existed.
You played a game of trying to catch him and he was always slightly out of reach.
You could not wrap you mind about the “them” and instead kept fighting for the “us.”
And then one day you had enough.
You walked away from the lies and the half-truths but he finally came to catch you.
You should have kept running but instead you let his lies seep back in while he promised you he shut her out.
What lies.
You talk rings, what beautiful rings he shows you.
What lies.

He finally buys that ring but puts it on her finger.
He leaves and you cannot recognize this fabricated person you have become.
You realize you have nothing left but the shell of the person you once were.