I am currently on 'Watch'.
'Watch' is what happens when a school thinks you’re suicidal. So that must mean I’m suicidal right?
Sure, I thought about killing myself, but be honest; who hasn’t?
It’s true, I am sad. Extremely sad. The kind of sad that has your heart aching, stomach whirling, gasping for breath as tears pour down from my dull and lifeless blue eyes.
But killing myself? I could never.
What would that prove?
That I was weak? That my peers finally got me down?
Everyone would feel sorry for the small town girl who killed herself, but all for the wrong reason.
The school ‘Watch’ program checks for scars, talks about how you feel, and is basically a joke.
My ‘Watch’ representative told me that if I keep this depressive attitude, they will kick me out. I laughed and said, “Won’t that make me want to kill myself more?”
To them, my joke wasn’t funny. Apparently, they have never seen a sarcastic suicidal girl.
I’m trying to find the source of my unhappiness so I can eliminate it from my life, but what if everything makes me unhappy. My family, school, the annoying hard-headed people who live in my town, or even me.
But the thing the schools are worried about are the people who try to keep themselves happy by staying to themselves. They don’t worry about the peers that surround them who made them this way.
The average time a murderer spends in prison is 25 years to life. But you never hear of the murderers who killed suicidal teens. Nothing happens to them.
I won’t kill myself.
In fact, in a few years I may look back and see how terrible high school really is. But for now, I’m trying to coup the best way I can.
Any way I can.
Unfortunately, many teens won’t see how high school is just so trivial. Unnecessary. And they will die from the pressure of society.