Hesitation

Sat, 03/12/2022 - 12:51 -- kirume

Leave, stay, it’s all the same anyway.
Two sides pulling me, splitting my mind,
shouting their own reasons, both equally
persuasive… and paralyzing.

 

And all I can do is stand in the middle
as I stare in horror at the clock forever ticking down,
telling me that all decisions have their consequences
and that doing nothing is also an action.
The worst one.

 

Back and forth, back and forth.
I need to do something,
but nothing tells me what.
Do I stay or do I go?
Which would I regret more?
Would I also regret the path I didn’t take?

 

I can’t run.
This is too close to home.
I can’t hide,
I’ve been dancing outside for far too long.
These freedoms?
What will become of them?
What will become of me?

 

I could lie, but at what cost?
Will that come back to haunt me too?
Do I stay put?
Never even acknowledging that side of me is missing?

 

I need help, but at what cost will I get it?
I want to go outside
and scream all my frustrations
to the world,
but nobody will listen.

 

Who am I?
What am I?
I don’t know.
I don’t know,
I DON’T KNOW.

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