Here to Stay
Location
I hear the words,
They echo
Like a trigger that’s just
Let go
Not a shriek could sum up words I could not say
I release my fear
And listen
Let my jaw drop
Tearstains glisten
Upon the words of diagnosis:
Cancer’s here to stay.
My scream held so much silence,
Much that could not bear its own
Momma’s got it, yes, she’s caught it,
And it will not leave my home!
Tears fall, collect, and gang up
Building walls around my head
I could not release the silence,
If the silence was past dead
‘Twas a broken home to start with,
Yes, my mother knew this well,
For my father’s safe in Heaven
While we’re forced upon this hell
His absence left a gap in us
That simply couldn’t fill
No matter all the sympathy
It could not heal and never will
But with this news, so startling
The days flew by as seconds
A month was just a blur of blue,
A year I could not reckon
Yet, the minutes gained attention
As progressed this cruel detention
For the minutes that stayed with us
Were the ones I’m scared to mention,
And although we saw the future
And this time, with no extension
We could not turn the words away:
Cancer’s here to stay.
Still fortunate to have the moments,
Little as may be,
A fight, a laugh, a precious tear
Just barely held down gravity
But time went by, and more still went
As the lord spat in our face
With awful news I would not know,
Until her fate picked up its pace
The eighteenth of November,
Carved deep into my skull,
Was the day I heard my momma murmur,
'Bout her senses going dull
I didn’t think it much,
Or was numb to what I felt
Until she said, so brutally
That she had taken what life dealt
She only had a day, she feared
Confessed this to her daughter, dear
Upon a special day of birth
'Twas the day of my sixteenth year
And though still here, her body geared
For treacherous relief, unclear
Of what the heavens would provide
For a woman singed inside
With sins no soul would dare to say...
But finally,
Her cancer
Went
Away.