her and I

See I dont really see the difference
between her and I
same mom and dad
same eyes
same hair
same blood
same everything


see but that is where you're wrong
she has had more love than me
a mom a dad and a stepdad
plus all the grandmas grandpas
cousins aunts and uncles
within our family tree


now I'm here the oldest mind you
and I have one third less
of that love than she


you see that one third less love
I recieve from the same
family tree is filled with hatred


hatred for not being someone
that they wanted me to be
I instead truned into
the person they hated the most
but how could I be the person
they wanted me to be
when they were never there for me


and you see she was in the same
boat as me
no dad to tuck us in at night
no dad to fight of the monsters under the bed
no dad period.


the only difference was
I had three years of love
form them before the divorce


but those years meant nothing
they meant nothing to them
and they mean nothing to me
mind you I dont remeber
the memories they claim to be real


so she grew up with out a father
but no yes she did a step father
one that was there for anything
and everything she had in her
he was there for her when she cried
he was there for her when she was hurt
everything and anything her was there
and still to this day is there for her


he is there for me to
there for the birthdays
that pass by every year
the heartbreaks that
comes and go
even all the daddy drama
that goes on


but the hole within me
still grows becuase all
the hurt and pain from
him are still there
sitting waiting for
me to crack open and
show him a piece of
the pain and neglect
I have felt from him
all these years


but I never crack
never show the pain I feel
not even when he ignores
my birthday every year
not even when I get the
call fron him every year
in the dot for my sisters birthday
I didnt show the pain
when he left us alone
and I defiantly am trying not
to show the pain as we hear
him care for another child


I refused to show I was hurting
when I saw the pictures of him
and the child here close to where
we lived dated at least two years ago
and he couldnt even cone visit
the two girls he had before


I refuse to let the hurt show
when the haterd
I felt from them
begin to spiral
out of control


I just want to know
what the difference
between the two of
us are to you
even though we are practially
the same?


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