And just like that my world is spinning
Don't you dare start smiling or grinning
Don't try showing me any emotion,
Emotion's a tidal wave, rolling off the ocean.
Destruction and mayhem are sure to follow,
People sobbing, more homes destroyed than Fukinara
We'll just wear our masks and be "fine"
We'll smooth the clay with another glass of wine.
We'll forge our clay in a kiln of shame
We'll ask ourselves who's to blame
When another of us eats a bullet.
You see, it's not all fun and happy times
Despite what my brain is trained to tell me.
Let me level with you, I'm not normal.
I am Frankenstein's Monster, but no "mad scientist" stands above the creation
Instead there's a team of therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and neurologists
Standing above the hodge-podged monster, laughing with sinister delight
and counting their money.
I need CBT, (the therapy, not the fetish),
I'm a dog, and when I see the mailman I want to woof
But my shock collar called memory kicks in so I can only whimper
I need DBT, so I don't run from this scary, scary place that we call life.
I'm flying an airplane with navigational failure, flying in a thunderstorm,
And my senses tell me the only way to go is down.
Way down, like into the dirt.
Because I am terminally self-destructive.
I made this dance, I'd like to describe it.
It's really quite easy, I like to keep it simple:
You take one step forward, two steps back,
And collapse in tears wondering how you managed to do it again.
Before I go, I have two more things about me.
I'm a coward. I'm scared that you'll look into my eyes,
and see what I have seen and hate me.
I'm a liar. I'm so sure that you will hate me,
I'll even give you the reasons to.
It's all part of that dance I told you about.