Hellfire In the Rainbow
Here's something for you all.
My world is modern Technicolor;
vibrant, awe-inspiring, filled with wonder an special effects.
It is stunning.
It is my Xanadu
All I could dream for, and more.
Bright colors frolic,
careless and playful.
Sparkles dance joyously,
free
untethered.
For many and many a day
my world was black and white.
Grainy, distorted, fuzzy, lost.
And then, I met my chums,
my crutch, my love, my life.
They transformed,
remodeled my world,
granted me my every desire,
regardless of its innocence, or spitefulness.
I was complete, released, running wild
in this brilliant, newfound realm..
Yet there was fine print I failed to heed.
The colors became constricting
asphyxiating, noxious.
Swirling,
marauding in their reverie.
Spooks lunge from every crevice
arising in me woe.
I cannot cease to stumble in potholes
of myriad length and depth.
Every time emerging
with an expression of maniacal glee.
I am on top of my world,
exultant in my madness.
And then I fall
down
down
down
to the bowels of the blackest abyss..
While there, I sit and grovel
alone in agony
waiting for the chemical love to envelop me,
take me away..
Till once again, I ascend.
There is no family,
there are no friends,
no need for work or play.
As long as I have my manufactured bliss,
or rather, my Master,
nothing else matters.
I am nothing.
The machinations of my sanity
are essential to me, as is air.
Without them, I am a shell,
a soulless embodiment of desperation.
My killer loves killing me
while I love being killed
slowly, subtly.
I am speeding down the freeway
so lunatic..
opposite the flow of traffic.
There is no stopping,
no turning back
till I crash
or veer off course
in this sick, beautiful, Technicolor universe.