See a couple pills that I just dropped.
Hoping one day.
I’ll confess I finally forgot,
these haunting memories that never stop.
All that helps is these drugs I bought.
To numb this pain I always got.
This vicious cycle has got me locked.
Forever planted in this twisted spot.
Is this my life, it’s forever plot?
Till the day I finally drop.
Did God decide it’s time for this suffering to stop?
Each person I loved, I’ve fucking lost!
Fell a thousand times to hit the bottom on these rocks.
If I had another chance, it’s destine I’d only mock.
Repeat every step without a single thought to stop.
So oblivious, impulsive; such an idiot.
Never believed I’d be such a shitty kid.
It’s like it flipped some switch,
when you blinked your eye lids.
From such a loving bright kid,
to a hate filled creature whose violent.
Use to be proud to speak of me,
now the topic only brings silence.
I’m spoken of like I’ve already died.
Use to fill each room with wide spread smiles,
but now it’s tears to be cried.
Regret or confusion, which is only a delusion.
I took each step, and I’ll take action for my movements.
You did nothing wrong,
other then let this last so long
from hanging on, believing one day it would all be gone!
If only I was just as strong, as you!
Maybe then I would of actually grew.
Mature, independent, and true.
Just so you could admit being proud,
instead of betrayed, hurt and so blue.
I dream one day of calling a truce.
Yet, the disbelief quickly creeps.
So many years I have hurt you.
Is there anything I could even do?
Would I achieve each task set to be?
Or just confirm you of a torture,
you will never be free.
I’m honestly sorry.
You never deserved to give birth,
to something who brought nothing except
“Hell on Earth.”