i lay there stoic 

face up

body rigid and cold

my arms are crossed over my chest in anticipation of what is to come

and 

as the light escaped my eyes

i realize that 

on this death bed

on this worn out mattress

i am not reaching the end of life

i am not beginning my demise

no

i am freeing myself from the strict confines

of lies and blasphemy

heaven is waiting for me 

i can't wait to walk up the steps to the pearly gate of gold

and i can't wait to refuse my own entry

my last breath will come soon

and as my mother leaves the room 

my soul becomes the moon

and i can see lovers swoon inside the hour glass that death is swinging before me

i take a peak at the glass full of sand

and i see a girl with the prettiest eyes 

they are as deep as the ocean and as brown as fall

a color so intense i couldn't digest it all

her irises are silent as they stare but they sing like a choir

and if her eyes were a flame, then her mind mustve been a fire

i only saw her for a second but she filled me with red

red like the sparks that are bouncing around inside of her head

i fell in love with this girl and her deep coffee eyes

and when i stepped closer 

i realized 

that her eyes were mine

 

"she's in a better place" 

no, really I'm not 

I'm in the best place i could be 

undeniably happy and unforgivably free