I walk into this empty hearted hall.
My steps heavy, my chest hollow.
My core shakes with mourning...
Nobody knows I am forever stuck in tergiversation.
I stand before myself, under siege with my reflection,
getting stoned for recreation,
But i feel nothing but deep longing.
I smile my fake smile knowing I'll never know elation.
Not without my soldier,
With his broad but humble shoulders,
His piercing eyes, and challenging smile,
That dared me to look away,
But it wasn't exactly a challenge to hold a steady gaze.
He made me think, a little to often.
He dug my grave, but I didn't stop him.
Now talk is cheap,
And i yearn for something real.
But still i make small talk ,
So the open wound won't heal.
Oh how i hate who I've become,
i twirl my hair and i play dumb
Oh I've been good,
how about you?
Just tell me you miss me.
Words consistently struggle to break through.
I strain myself, which ruins my health.
I lay next to him, glad i don't believe in hell.
I curse my heart and the lack of reasons for it doubts,
But the heart has reasons that reason knows nothing about.