How do I feel happiness and strife at the same time?

How  can I seem stressed but look fine?

Only love can bring about such feelings of conflict!

How is it my mind is light but my heart is so thick?

I have never felt such feelings towards you,

But now you're all I've ever wished to choose.

Oh, my mind gives such woe to me!

As I try to decipher you as friend or enemy.

I miss you when you're gone. You don't notice when I'm there.

I wish I didn't know you, or better yet, didn't care.

I have no courage to tell you how I really feel,

So I suppose I'll sit in misery and watch you find your ideal.

Then I shall cry and give you a reason that is fake.

For I know, deep down, you're just another heartbreak.