Heart; BLACK

Heart; BLACK (edited version)
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Blue skies , yellow petunias and
A black heart ,
Crimson Dawns, Auburn sunsets
Looming skylines, bustling life
Fleeting moments and glimpses of life
A generation caught up in a vicious cycle
There is a lot to talk about,
There is a lot to think about
There is a lot to care about ,
But what do I care about?
Like a lone wolf without a pack
Gambling away like ashes
Smouldering at the tip of my cigarettes
A solemn heart shrouded in rags watching
Days crawling by like those
phantom shadows of a moonless world
Seasons changed ,
months passed by like a silent thief
The world embraced its changes,
But there I was ,
brewing a thunderstorm inside
With a dead black heart waiting
Wanting , craving something, or someone
Chocking in feeble formalities and theatrics
My eyes only traced ,
fake happy faces with fake tans
My ears only heard
Grinding greetings and vague goodbyes
Hoping never to meet again,
A black heart
filled with its emptiness , voids and blank spaces
Will it ever find its meaning or
Purpose of its passive existence
mind chatters and mind matters
Broken affirmations and
Pending promises
I know I am not your centerpiece
Nor am I a masterpiece
A head trying to reason
I want to live again
I want to love again
Even if it is fake, pretend
Maybe I am addicted to
My own darkness,
I found glory in my gloom
A sort of deep sensuality
In the pain , the lonliness
Yes Indeed,
My heart is black ,
and I wanted it that way
Is it an excuse or
A matter of existence
The scars on my wrists
Screamed a secret obsession,
A reckless passion
For a wild affection
Look at me , I am here
A black heart beating away
To the rythem of this mad race
Caving to fit in this mad chaos
Ebbing and flowing mindlessly
Comforted effortlessly
in my own mystery
This is what I am
A black heart
A blank brain
A monotonous soul
caught up in this profound anguish
Waiting in that Street corner,
Swept away in the
Depth of a black heart

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This poem is about: 
Me

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