Into the darkness

Is where I go.

I am driven by the

War in my head.

Lights are off and

The window is shut.


My eyes begin to swell,

The tears begin to build up

In the creases of my eye lids.


The sobs begin slow

For I know that if it gets worse

Things might get disastrous.

It almost feels like my mind is

Trying to escape its own mind.


The pain either comes in waves

Of a large ocean being slammed

Against a rock.

Or it feels as if two people are

Pressing hard on two

different cookie cutters,

fighting for the same piece of “dough”.


Tonight though,

I am going to a place

Where I will no longer feel pain.




Is the only thing to get

true peace.


I begin to cry a river,

with ragged currents flowing

down my cheeks,

I force pills down my throat

To help numb the pain

I no longer want to feel.


My hands cover my mouth now,

Trying to mumble the screams

My body wants to let out.

Is my body resisting against me

Or is it trying to tell me something?


The pills begin to kick in,

My chest begins to slow down,

The tears begin to dry.

My eyes shut for the last time today.

I finally begin to feel peace.

Everything is calm.

Everything is sweet.


After a short seven hours

I wake, almost forgot but,

My lovely friend never left.

It started to fight again.


This poem is about: 


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