I know the easiest answer, the simplest escape
of my fear of everyone, everything.
Fear is my oldest and most amiable companion; it lives within me.
But, I live on, I suppose, because there are only two choices left.
Live on, because I must, because I cannot leave her alone.
Breathe on, loudly if I can, because there are people I love around here
and because my insolence can only take me so far.
So I still speak not a word.
I still hope the constant breathing of my space heater
Drowns out the sounds of my own breathing,
so he doesn't come upstairs.
But still, I breathe.
For everyone around who makes me laugh,
For those I dread to leave behind.
For the satisfaction of being alive, sometimes.