Happy

Location

He said if not for God what is it you live for

I said I want to be happy

I said I want to be happy

I said I want to lie in my death bed with eyes barely open

and I want to be able to smile

Say this- was good

Say my laugh lines

Never turned into canals

But fault lines

That moved and danced

I wanted to be happy

I wanted to be happy

 

But there’s a little boy in the Phillippines

Crouching over a sidewalk collecting rain water

For his little brother who’s so thirsty he can hardly move

And he’s not happy.

 

And there’s a soldier on a plane back home right now

With eyes reflecting nothing but a bomb

And a mother’s steady gaze as she tells her children

It’s gonna be okay, but she knows it’s not gonna be okay

 and she’s not happy

 

Somewhere in this school is a girl I know

With a hanging head and eyelids swelled so heavy

With bags of saltwater that have been held there so long

They have seeped into her skin

Have left memories engraved onto her bone marrow

 

How could I have known I was already happy?

 

We want to be happy

So we drink, and we smoke pot and have meaningless sex

We get on our rooftops and we scream YOLO to the world

Swinging empty beer bottles in our hands

We want to be happy

So we take our credit cards

And we spend

And we spend and we spend and we spend

Because the people on the commercials

The actors and the models with the pretty white smiles

On their pretty flawfless faces

They’re happy!

Hell if I wake up *sad in the morning and I don’t know why

I get on google and type in “early morning depression”

I see a link on “Health Central”

That reads “Do You Have Morning Depression?”

And I say YES

I DO have Morning Depression! Fix me doctor!

And I find out I’ve either got

low blood sugar, or lack of sleep and

I should go to a Morning Depression Support Group

and it’s at 2pm and I’m like

What the fuck is a group of people with morning depression

gonna talk about at two pm???

 

 

We want to be happy

But bliss is just as much ignorance as ignorance is bliss

I don’t want to be happy, I want to be alive

I want to love with reckless abandon

And get my heart broken a thousand times into millions of pieces

Before I ever think twice about falling in love

I want to run so fast I fall and scrape my knee on the sunset

I want to get sick and miserable from playing in the rain

Not because I particularly even like playing in the rain

But because it looks so goddamn inspiring when they do it in the movies

Give me this, give me this,

But more than anything,

There’s a little boy in the Phillippines

Crouching over a sidewalk collecting rain water

For his little brother who’s so thirsty he can hardly move

More than anything,

I want his little brother in an ambulance right now

Getting carried away to the nearest hospital

More than anything

There’s a mother telling her children it’s gonna be okay

I want it to be okay

More than anything

There’s a girl in our school

With a hanging head and tears that never made their way out

More than anything, I want to see what she looks like when she smiles

 

 

 

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