an insecure insecurity

something that isn't really mine

a fleeting thought hidden in shadows

brought forward by history's rhyme.

 

the attempted genocide of natives

i know that it's not right

but i wince every time i hear the word

tossed around like wasted time.

 

half-caste, they say

the half-caste children

taken from their families

it was utterly brutal but maybe remember-

they were just that- half

 

it shouldn't be an insult

i know no-one means harm

but when "impure" sounds like a freak of nature

it makes me think i am.

 

i'm not even indigenous

it's nothing to do with me

except it is

and it hits hard

even in my own family.

 

"exotic"

"halfies"

"chinese doll"

heard all these things, it's strange

thy're compliments i guess but

they still shouldn't take the stage.

 

"you don't look particularly like anything" i've been told.

well thanks, that feels just great.

seriously though, it starts to hurt

when you feel like you belong nowhere on this earth

because you've just heard it again and again

from all of your family and all of your friends

nobody says it but i still get the words:

half-caste.