Hope flickers like a small flame

Easily put out in the wind of the ghastly night.

So I lay on the cold hard floor

Staring at the silver moon dancing.

Dancing with the fading stars

Across the onyx abyss.

I look up with dry eyes,

Too empty, to tired to cry.

 

There is a numbness that is left,

A void in my mind,

An abyss in my heart,

A tear in my soul.

Desperately I search for what I've lost,

But it is far gone into the numbness.

 

The numbness I've now lost,

But found that I left it at a cost.

I lay here awake feeling worthless,

At a loss for purpose.

The cages of my demons that the numbness hid

Are now opened wide.

Inside they laugh and play with me

Eating away at what sanity I have left.

 

My will once strong is bending,

Not yet ready to break,

Something I hope will prolong my fate.

Why and how is that possible?

Because the glimmer of a shiny blade looks promising,

But will be my worst enemy.

I know that I will then give up all control,

And I will lose all restraint,

As I watch hope leave my veins.

So I  just scream at my demons,

I try to drown them, flood them out,

But they have grown strong.

 

I'll just lay here awake in the middle of the night,

To watch the dancing moonlight,

Slowly fade into darkness, much like my mind.

But maybe I'll be alright 

That is if I can keep hope alive.

 

So let me take hate,

Take what is left of my emotions,

Take my story of a dying girl

Who only wants to survive,

And fuel the flickering fire.

I made a promise to myself

That I would let hope be my flame,

And let hope be my guide,

In a world where darkness,

And bitterness is everyone's pride.

 

So I sit here watching the flickering flame,

Holding close to my cold body,

Trying to feel its warmth

As the cold wind batters my body,

And demons destroy my mind.

This is my purpose to keep hope alive.