Growing Up Gone

Growing up Gone: 


When I was young, I didn’t care what people’d think,

I’d flounce around half naked and take baths in the sink.

I’d go to school with my hair undone

And wear outfits with more patterns than one. 

Unafraid to do anything in the world,

From cartwheels to backflips to “try this! I almost hurled!”


Now something makes me nervous and I timidly back out,

“I could break something” and “how long has that been sitting out?”


When did growing up mean not living like today’s my last?

Why can’t I be fearless like I was in the past?

I didn’t realize my life was full of boredom and ash

Until the light of everyone’s life was one night gone in a flash. 


We all hear the stories of teenagers passing tragically,

But we live in denial like we’re indestructible... magically. 

We waste our days doing our usual routine,

Wake up, school, work, repeat


The most amazing, most fun, and most elating

Leaves this world before even graduating. 

I’m standing here doing my typical norm,

Applying for scholarships and setting up my dorm. 


Meanwhile a young man so full of light and hope,

Has no more future and leaves me to cope. 

Life changes in an instant and I can’t prepare,

So why would I waste it being shy and scared?


When did life hit me and things get tough?

When was a quarter for bubble gum not enough?

How many years did I waste wanting to grow up,

Before it hit me that I already did and I have time to make up?!


I now live every day like it could be my last,

And bring into adulthood a bit of my past. 

I have responsibilities and money to owe,

But focusing on them might waste my last tomorrow. 


Looking back, the acne, humility, and popularity meant absolutely nothing,

What really mattered was realizing that there was no real suffering. 

I did not realize how much stronger everything made me,

That not allowing life to get in my way was exactly what saved me. 




~In loving memory of Logan Rafter~

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