My lips temble and shake. 

Every word I try to stip out dies at my lips, or tumbles out in a broken and hollow way.

Words can't ever reflect how I feel, and how I feel is empty.

 

I try so hard to soak in sunlight. 

All in the hope that I might reflect it back. 

But I cant. 

 

I just consume the rays of happiness like a black hole. 

Absorbing and sucking away the gift of life it might have broght. 

Distroying its potetial to give, for no other reason then selfishness. 

 

Trapped in my mind, in the never ending cycle of dispair.

I can't see anything. 

 

Its too dark 

 

But I can't let myself stop. 

I need the gift of life that the light might bring. 

 

Because I know that even though I only see dark empty space, somewhere there is more.

Somewhere, something has chosen to be greater. 

Something has a will stronger than my own. 

Somewhere something is growing. 

 

And I can't see it. 

But is out there. 

It has to be. 

 

So I wont give up my share of sunlight, so that something else can have it. 

Becasue I am selfish. 

And more than anything!

 

I want to grow.