Grad Party Jitters

It’s supposed to be amazing

Everyone telling you how proud they are and how much they love you

How glad they are that you made it through that hell called high school

But all you’re doing is waiting

Waiting for them to ask that unavoidable question

“So, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?”

So trivial, that question.

So simple, to most of my friends who have their plan all figured out

Even though they say that 68% of undergraduate students change their major at least 3 times before they graduate.

But me? I try my hardest to give them an answer that doesn’t make me sound like a loser

Like someone who doesn’t care about where they go in life

Because the truth is, I fear that very thing the most

Not going anywhere in life, not making a positive impression on others

Helping people is all I really want to do

But that could involve so many things

And since neither one of my parents finished nor attended college for longer than a semester

It’s hard to take their input seriously when they tell me that my biggest dream isn’t something that could ever support me

I just want to write.

And I think it says something when that’s still all I want, even when I’m suffering from a seriously bad case of writers block and can’t think of an idea to save my life

I just want to write.

And I know they say that everyone has a voice that needs to be heard

But that’s an easy thing to say when only the voices of the important ones are being heard.

So, whenever I’m asked that trying question of what I want to do with the rest of my life

I tell them that I want to make a difference and let my voice be heard

Even if it’s just for a little while. 

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