A Golden Soul

Is this love?

Should love feel like this?

I always imagined that love would feel warm, whole, and happy.


That’s how it was at first, it was warm.

The colors resembled a fall day, the hues of orange, yellow and pink illuminated my mind when I thought of you.

Your touch ignited my skin, the sounds of your voice were happy and rung in my ears like a favorite song.

My skin was glowing when I was with you, my eyes were the color of the ocean, blue and deep.

I felt happy for the first time in a long time,

I shouldn’t have expected it to stay.


It was warm for a while.

Until it started to turn cold.

No longer did I feel a joy when you touched my skin.

Your voice was no longer happy, the words only stung my ears and burned into my mind.

A black hole had formed in my heart and sucked my soul into its depths and closed again.

What is this love? Is this love worth it?

Your love was never worth it.


You became someone I never imagined you would be.

The person you promised you would never become.

“You’re acting crazy.”

“She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

If you had to lie about it...clearly something is wrong.

I’m not acting crazy because I expected more from you.

I’m crazy because I believed that you would change after the first time you hurt me.


No girl should ever have to wonder why she was never enough.

No girl should ever be told “You need to look like her.”

Or be forced to do something she never wanted to do.

No girl should be manipulated, broken and bruised

Like you did to me.

No girl should ever feel the same pain I felt

When you shattered every ounce of hope

I had for you.


In the end, I was glad I left you.

Despite the days of wondering why I was never enough for you,

I realized.

You didn’t deserve a golden soul while yours was still black.


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