I had power once

Power to take anything from this wretched world and make it beautiful

Gleaming like that liquid amber solidified

It was granted to me

Much like her heart could not be

 

I had power once

To touch anything in this wretched world and turn it into

Cold

Unforgiving

Gold

 

That is why I never touched her

 

She was golden

 

She was gleaming eyes and diamond smiles

 

She was golden

She was the heady-scented roses in that garden

She laughed when I touched them

Gilded them in golden dust and brought one to her

Gold roses are permanent

She should have been permanent

 

She tried to touch me once

I wouldn’t let her

She had an internal kind of beauty

Gold could never recreate

Fragile like the glinting petals on the godforsaken flowers in the garden

Soft and saccharine

 

I could never let that turn into

 

Cold

Unforgiving

Gold

 

I was

Heavy with the gold, aching

In my heart or my stomach

I don’t know

I didn’t know

That gold would reflect the sun to sear my skin

That gold would weigh this heavy when I tried to eat it

That gold would taste like

Life force leaving me

 

Me leaving her

Before this it did not occur to me that gold may not be a blessing

But a burden

 

She was not permanent