High School is almost over.
And recently I have been getting asked the big question,
What do I want to be when I grow up?
I smile and answer, "I don't know yet"
They give me a weird look as to if I should have decided that by now.
I sometimes even tell them that I want to become a dentist just to avoid their look.
The thing is, I do know what I want to be, but I'm just afraid of what my family would think of me.
"Your'e smart! Put that knowledge into becoming an engineer", they would say.
I thought it might be just a phase and that eventually, it would go away.
But I have never been able to shake it off.
But I can't share my passion with anybody.
I know I won't be able to stand the looks on their faces if I tell them.
What I want to be, is an actress.
Where I come from, I feel like that dream is forbidden to have and nearly impossible to fulfill due to the judgement that follows it.
When we watch movies, my friends would say, "Wow this girl is crazy!" and I think "Wow this girl is good"
When they see a sad scene, they cry. But I observe and learn.
But why am I doing this?
The chances of the fulfillment of my dreams are miniscule, I know that.
So, why can't I shake this feeling off?
How can I think to have a career like this?
No, I need to become something practical, maybe being a dentist won't be so bad.
Atleast I'll know my parents would be proud.
I won't have to face judgement from them.
I can always dream; I can close my eyes and imagine myself on a set playing as someone else.
In this scene, I'm crying because someone just died...
Fake tears fall and the director yells "CUT! Great Scene!"
I then wake up.
Well, A girl can always dream...