Genetic Mutation

Underneath these clothes, I work out everyday
I am proud of my body, the gym I slay
..but I have a heart condition
I have a chest implant
an ICD
afraid of what people will say
I hold back this information
I just can’t
find it in me
to show off what I consider a deformity
in my chest
I considered it a weakness
that holds me back from my best
only recently did I lay this belief to rest
I am more ambitious than ever before
but unfortunately
I still don’t believe 
that this is not
a deformity
So I throw on thicker clothes
so that nobody knows
or sees
the ICD
bulging through me
And if I reach a heart rate of over two-hundred and forty
oh lordy, it delivers a shock that will literally floor me
I am taking more risks, more than I should be
Like instigating fights and riding heart racing thrills
and I just hope that through my life this won’t be the thing that kills
all my possible fun
I just want to have fun
like everyone...
else
but until I get my confidence under control like belts
and a bad kid
I will be insecure about this device in my chest a tad bit
I will continue to act as if I didn’t contract this
Genetic Mutation

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