GasLighting

You always liked watching fires

You told me; the colors made everything brighter

That when the sparks crackled you got goosebumps

Chills would rush through your body

And fill your lungs with ambition

The smell of things burning pleased you

Made you feel Powerful and fulfilled

Just like a fire

You loved to destroy everything around you

Especially me

You would light every emotion on fire

Then Isolate flames so that I could burn out alone

Then an “I Love You” would slither off your tongue

Slip through every inch of my body to Make my skin crawl you would crawl through my mind

Destroying my insanity

Manipulate our conversations by telling me

“You’re so Sensitive”

“I’m the only one who could ever love you”

“Stop being so dramatic”

“That’s not what happened”

“If you leave me, I'll kill myself...or both of us”

“I’m only doing this because I love you”

Every sentence you said to started with “because I love you”

As if it was ever love

I was just a player in your game; like how often can you push and how much can you prick till i bleed out and become dry

You were a master manipulator

Puppeteering words

that pulled and yanked parts of me That I didn’t know existed

You Controlled so much of me…

I actually started to believe that you truly loved me

That maybe I could’ve changed something

maybe the blame for your actions was mine for the taking

But this love… your love was gaslighting

The constant mind manipulating was slowly destroying every part of me

Being with you was like being stuck in a fire

You sucked up all the oxygen

So that I was unable to breathe

 

used me to fill the lonely void of your life, to make yourself look better

Like maybe you were worth something

So you took my worth and made it your own

Traded in my heart for your pride

My mind for your strength

My tears for blood

Baby

Instead of being in love

We were in gaslighting

Until I finally put out your flame

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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