I, personally, have experienced my fair share of pain in my life and not necessarily just the pain you feel physically, but mentally as well.

From my point on any surface, I can see that people have gone through or are continuing their paths of pain.

Their fake faces produce the most beautiful smiles; you've been practicing for a while now.

I have too and little do people know that there have been times I've screamed at the top of my lungs only to feel breaths being sucked from my lungs as I'm forced to stare into the abyss I call my mind.

Tears don't stream down my face, making paths of moist skin on my cheeks unless it's night time and everyone knows that isn't a good time.

Falling asleep quickly before that overwhelming feeling of desirable death overcomes you is always wonderful.

However, it's almost like it just continues to build. It saves those emotions you wouldn't release in a jar for you to remember later.

So, while you continue your days producing your fake smiles and wishing you could feel something other than sadness, think about the times when you're numb. 

You're like a walking zombie who only feels anything when their emotions become unbareable or their mind just decides that now is the time.

Revisting your past of abuse and self hatred that never went away doesn't put you on good terms with yourself.

Pushing away others who are desperately reaching for you only to be shoved away is not helping you.

Slicing open your skin with whatever you can find to feel something isn't scaring just your body, but your mind.

You think this is your only way out but in all reality it's nobodies escape.

Perhaps you don't feel anything later but you just passed that suffering on to the people who actually gave a shit.

So from one depressed and overly anxious person to another, don't.

You have absolutely no clue who cares for you because you aren't giving them the chance to give you their all.

To the people sitting on the floor shaking and crying uncontrollably, you're feeling something. 

It's not the best thing but you're alive. 

Don't take your illnesses to the grave with you. They'll always be there but goddamn fight them. 

How do you expect to overcome something if you're bowing and pleading for mercy?

Fuck the lies people have told you. 

Fuck the abusers who have tortured you countlessly in person and in your mind.

Fuck the people who have taken advantage of you in any form.

Fuck the people who said to stop crying because you were being too fragile.

Fuck those people because you are better than all of them even with your terrible illness.

You are beautiful and well worth it.