friends

ignoring all communication.
i am so tired of hearing the woe is me bullshit.
it is my fucking heart, that has decided not to work.
my lungs don't want to be lungs anymore
maybe they can be my heart for me
and let that stupid thing take a break.
because lately i pass out on the bathroom floor
and wake up alone.
with my face pressed against the cold tile.
this is not okay.
i am not okay.
i'd rather wake up alone than
be surrounded by "friends"
who choose to tell me 
"i hope you figure out what's wrong soon,
i'm so
scared."
what?
you're scared?
how the fuck do you think i feel?
i don't want to hear the phone ringing.
i turn it off
throw it on the bed
i want to wake up alone
or,
just not wake up at all.
 

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