AS FREE AS A DOVE

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I was haunted

Not by a ghost

But                                   by                                    something                                           stronger

A ...paralyzing... fear


THE chains holding me down

THE pain on my chest

THE power I felt

THE life that passed me by

THE fake smiles I gave

THE I'm OK's


Sure I was "alright" on the outside

But on the inside

I was a mess

A turmoil

A turnadoe

A bloody murder scene

I was hanging onto sanity

I was screaming inside

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTICE MY PAIN


For five years I stayed in that place

While the world around me changed

A young girl to a young woman

All in the blink of an eye

I was a zombie just going through the motions

I had friends but they never knew

I had family but I never told

I had a diary but it was never written

People would ask why I walked in a hurry with my head held low

Or at times my eyes would glisten in unshed tears

Or why i looked so sad

I hid behind a facade,

That was the image of strength

I protected my mind,

Through a maze of diamonds, the hardest rock,

And a hole deep inside

So deep that the light of day wasnt allowed

Night was when it came out to play

Music was my rock

Into my mind I went with a wonderful song

I would sing until the sleep won the battle of the night

And I had survived another night


But then something broke through

My defenses were down

I wasnt prepared

It only came at night

But i was touched

Not with fear, but WITH HOPE

My soul lifted and flew

It was free

I was free

And I cried

And I told

And I still tell


One year ago

I was given the ability to fly

To fly away from the chains

To fly away from the all pressing pain in my chest

To fly away from the life I let pass me by

To fly away from the fake smiles I gave

To fly away from the Ok's

And to fly towards the light

AS FREE AS A DOVE

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