Olisa Emeagwali                                                                                     7/27/15                                                      Finding Myself                   After the terrible events in my life, I look back and remember every single Bad event that had happened in my past, and I recall where My parents were arguing and my siblings were crying because They thought the family tearing apart. And now I am in a part of my life where that seems very similar. Every day I go to church and when it's time to pray, I pray don't let anything Bad happen to my family and may my grandpa rest in peace. Those are the only things I’ve been praying for. Those two. Now, when I see my parents fighting and attacking each other With such harsh words, and my siblings crying I start to wonder, Why Lord, why is my family in pain, Please stop it. I pray every Sunday for this and You are letting it happen, Why Lord. And when my mind hits a climax point,  My mind starts to think Why am I even here? What is my purpose in life? What is that thing I am supposed to strife for? And I think I may have found this answer,   And it might not be the answer you may be looking for, But my answer truly is to keep on living. Survive in this cruel, unfair reality that we live in. When I listen to the news, All I hear is the tragic events that occur, But what can I do about it, All I can do is accept it for what it truly is. Because in life, things will come out of nowhere, So fast that, that it knocks the sheer wind out of you And honestly, all u can do is accept it, Because by tampering with it all it can really do Is just make it even worse than it was Originally before. And I had to figure that out the hard way. And after figuring it out, I wished there was something I could do, But now years later, I had to figure out that, There is truly nothing you Can do about it. I have been wondering If my life was a mistake due To the actions I took upon By taking the wrongs paths in life And it hurts when you realize that You've been going the wrong way the whole Time and u need to accept it because there is nothing You can do about it   Because if you try escaping From the untangling problems That will reel u back in. Then u will be stuck in the web Just like me. The webs of pain and misery. I then realized that this is all me Just pondering thoughts and questions And truly I'm trying to figure myself In this complicated, Painful, Suffering, World that we live in. I'm trying to figure out how I fit In this puzzle of a world, And yet I'm puzzled that I'm not such Of importance in this world but there is nothing That I can do about, because one thing that everyone On this planet is doing similar, Trying to adapt in this crazy world. And this whole time I've been trying to figure where I Fit in the world but I'm probably too naïve To figure out yet. I guess the purpose of growing up is to realize where You fit. But I guess as I'm growing up I have to accept certain things I can't Disagree to, but truly who knows, Because to be honest the only thing I've been Doing is finding myself.