have you ever layed in your bed at night balled up and cried?

face full of tears, no one there to comfort and you feel like you wanna die? 

 

endless nights in bed praying ta god & felt like you got no reply.

just feeling alone, all on your own

all these emotions nobody knew about because I never shown. 

 

ever felt like you didn’t wannna be here? 

but still wanted to be successful and have a career. 

see it’s hard wanting ta live and wanna die at the same time.

see that’s hard it’s like tryna guard mike in his prime. 

 

you see feeling alone is knowing there are people around

but it’s in your mind you can’t go and open up without feeling like a clown. 

 

because when you did go open up, people still left you alone & took what you perceived as a joke 

when all you wish you had was a human who listened to the words you’ve spoked 

 

now your left with just your self, & your thoughts too. 

trying too unscramble this puzzle you been fighting that one had knew. 

 

it’s even harder than trying to eat beef without the stew. 

or tying a lace without the shoe. 

but everyday you wishing for a breakthrough. 

 

just to feel 

Present Instead of absent 

Loved, instead of unprotected 

Respected, instead of neglected 

Free, Instead of subjected 

 

Then come to a realization that feeling “ alone “ is all in my mind. 

blind to a point where i almost left the real ones behind. 

all because of a THOUGHT that could’ve been refined.

 

but I’ll never make a permanent decision towards those who love me because I don’t want to see any tears !