Why do I still fear;
That oppressive being when he’s not even here?
I think I’m mad watching my back
Following the old rules without slack
Sure it’s different now while he tries to impress
But what about later, I feel nothing but stress
I see you and think of all the raw scars,
But when you see me, you think you’ve done nothing at all!
How I wished to express my self being,
But you told me I was worthless and I started believing.
I know loneliness and despair
Forever stricken by your glare
Now you see me and tell me loving things never have I heard before
I covet such phrases but only to find
You were telling me more big lies
You stomped on me and screamed, forcing me to cry,
Not with anger, but pain, guilt, and eyes so blind.
Every day I remember and try to find my fault
Unleashing questions from my heart’s vault
“What did I do wrong today?”
“How can I make myself better for your sake?”
These kind of thoughts are mine alone
With no one to share, no one, just me alone.
Yet, I love you greatly
Even when you berate me
For that is the only love I know