Why do I still fear;

That oppressive being when he’s not even here?

I think I’m mad watching my back

Following the old rules without slack

Sure it’s different now while he tries to impress

But what about later, I feel nothing but stress

I see you and think of all the raw scars,

But when you see me, you think you’ve done nothing at all!

How I wished to express my self being,

But you told me I was worthless and I started believing.

I know loneliness and despair

Forever stricken by your glare

Now you see me and tell me loving things never have I heard before

I covet such phrases but only to find

You were telling me more big lies

You stomped on me and screamed, forcing me to cry,

Not with anger, but pain, guilt, and eyes so blind.

Every day I remember and try to find my fault

Unleashing questions from my heart’s vault

“What did I do wrong today?”

“How can I make myself better for your sake?”

These kind of thoughts are mine alone

With no one to share, no one, just me alone.

Yet, I love you greatly

Even when you berate me

For that is the only love I know


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741